Body Language First, Words Second

Student: “What should I say to her?”Deline: “Doesn’t matter.”
Student: “What do you mean?  I need to have something to say!”
Deline: “You need nothing, you already have everything.”
I sound like a guru on top of a mountain dispensing universal truths to some poor soul seeking enlightenment.  He has made the treacherous trek proving that he wants to improve his dating life, and here at bar on top of the world between the snow capped mountains… he’s wasting time thinking what to open with.
Student: “WTF?  I can’t just walk up to her and say whatever comes to my mind!  That’s crazy Deline, I can’t!  I’m going to fail.”
Deline: “Start with the first solid step in her direction.   Get those hands out of your pockets and stand up straight.   Smile a little… no not that cheesy grin, bro!  Just a little smirk.  Yes, better… slow your gestures down.  Speak up.  Don’t lean over her.  And don’t forget to body rock.   Yes, perfect, like that!  Now go tell her…  you like salad.”
Hi, I’m Deline.  I teach grown men how to attract women here in Washington DC.  My students tend to be very smart and driven guys; engineers, lawyers, doctors and programmers.
On paper, they’re every woman’s dream.   In reality, they tend to be nightmare dates.  They have spent years studying and then working their way up careers to finally be able to acquire all the status symbols of success they can get their hands on, and to their dismay, none of that stuff matters to women.  And by the time they come to me, they’re usually on the brink of giving up forever.  These aren’t the kinds of guys that like to admit failure, and desperation has started to set in.
Body Language First, Words Second
All approaches start with your body language, what you actually say comes secondary.
How you walk, how you speak, how you maintain the space around you, how you respond to people, all speak volumes well ahead of whatever words you choose to spit out.
Your body language is the way to signal your confidence without bragging.  If you got it going on, you don’t need to brag about it, you just walk exuding the knowledge that you are confident in your own skin.
Sure, my students are confident in what they do for a living, but stick them in a bar full of women, and it’s like watching fish out of water, just flopping around gasping for air, and trying to do anything and everything hoping that something eventually works.
So the very first step in fixing this hot mess, is literally asking my students to take a few steps towards me.  Helping them get their body language under control dramatically helps their chances. With strong body language, what you actually end up saying… doesn’t really matter.
Here’s my checklist of Do’s and Don’ts regarding Body Language:
Hands out of pockets!
Don’t do anything that hides your body.  Putting your hands in your pockets signals insecurity as if to say “I don’t know what to do with these appendages, so let me just stick ‘em in here.”  Same goes with crossing your arms across your chest.  This is a natural defensive posture (naturally inclined to protect the center of your body).  If you’re badass, you don’t walk around in defensive mode, ever.
Stand solid
Your feet should be shoulder width length and your arms at your sides… relaxed.   I don’t care if you’re in the most crowded Friday night bar, you take up your deserving space around you.
Slow your reactions
Have you ever seen the President jump out of anyone’s way?  No.  He takes his time.  For example, if someone politely taps my shoulder at bar alert me that they need to pass by me, I’ll give a little space to let them pass.  However, if someone impolitely tries to push me or impatiently tries to get my attention in aggressive manner, I don’t move because I never respond to impolite things, and neither should you.
Slow down your gestures
Flailing arms above your head like a crazy spaz, is not attractive.  You can demonstrate your enthusiasms with your expressions, you don’t need overwhelmed them with your gestures.  More importantly, slowing down your gestures, naturally gives more weight to them.  They mean more because you use less of them.  This is a surprisingly difficult tip is to teach guys so if you can master this one alone, you’ll be quite ahead of the pack.
Speak with determination
Speak up, speak clearly, and end your sentences in a downward inflection.  Mastering this technique can be difficult but it is well worth with it.  Slow downing your speech, also lets you “think” in the spaces between phrases, without having to use too many filler sounds like “ums” and “ahs”.
Bedroom Eyes
My best tip, it’s all in the eyes.  When you talk to a woman, the deer in headlights look is not attractive.   Instead, let your eyelids relax a little.  And slow down the darting.  No eagle eyes staring at legs, breasts, and asses.  You’re not looking to pluck some rodent off of these women for dinner.  You’re looking to have fun.
That’s a good start, whenever you go out.